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Divorce Mediation Service - Mediation Attorney

 Alternative to a Contested Divorce

 

David A. Casey 

Mediation Service Attorney

Serving El Cajon and San Diego County

Mediation Services located at:

365 Broadway, Suite 203

El Cajon, California

Telephone (619) 447-6780  - E-mail:  Familylaw1@aol.com

Conveniently Located in El Cajon close to I-8 & Hwy. 67

 

CLICK  HERE TO READ PAGE TWO  RE:  THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION.

 

SOLVE YOUR DIVORCE DISPUTE OUTSIDE OF COURT!

DIVORCE  SETTLEMENT MEDIATION,  CHILD CUSTODY MEDIATION,

 SUPPORT MEDIATION. 

 

Why not save money plus the emotional conflict?  Try divorce mediation services first.  What all three of the above mediations have in common, is that this method saves you and your partner, spouse, or other parent, the cost of two attorneys litigating against each other, which could be substantial.  It is easy for litigation to become "heated" or heavily contested.   Even more important,  litigation takes a heavy emotional effect on children.  Divorce Mediation Services not only saves the emotional stress but it also saves your children from being entwined in your legal battles. 

 

Do I believe mediation works?  The answer is yes!   What I have found when the couples, parents, or partners go into mediation, they seem to work towards a settlement of even their complex issues.  They are more willing to negotiate a reasonable settlement that they can live with without having to spend their entire savings, equity or even max out their credit cards just to battle it out in court.   It seems when each party has an attorney,  that ultimately, the case gets more litigated since their attorneys do the battles for them.   Initially, Mediation is not cheap, but in the long run, it makes sense because it is more cost effective to work through the issues and try to resolve them rather than to litigate especially during an emotional and stressful period of time.  

 

For 19 years I practiced law in a very aggressive way, always fighting the battles for my client many times at a substantial cost.  However,  I have also successfully negotiated settlements with the most "hard nosed" attorneys and opposing parties who claimed they would never settle.  Too many of these clients thought that  it was all about getting back at the other person or using the children as a tool in their litigation for more or less child support.  What is sad is that they didn't realize what they were doing until I pointed it out to them.  After careful and thought out guidance, they were able to work more towards settlement which ended up saving them  thousands of dollars in attorney fees.  Mediation helps the parties to resolve their differences in an non-adversarial environment.   Divorce Mediation  is the best way to avoid costly litigation.

 

Divorce Mediation is an  Alternative to a Contested Divorce.

Will divorce mediation work for everyone?  Unfortunately not.  But a good majority of the time, it will eliminate most if not all of the contested issues, leaving just a few issues to resolve and without the cost of two attorneys litigating.  Even if it does not work completely,  it probably will still save a substantial amount for both parties.

 

However,  my experience has been very positive about the parties being able to work out their own agreement instead of the court ordering them what to do.   Remember,  if you do not have an agreement, even though your attorney presents your case to the court, there is NO GUARANTEE as to what the court will order.  Isn't it better to mediate and negotiate a settlement together knowing what you will or won't get?   An agreement reached by the parties in mediation is just as enforceable as the one the judge hands down.

 

An important question asked by several people who have inquired about mediation is,  who do I represent?  Whose side am I on?   Although I am an attorney, for the purposes of mediation, I do not act as an attorney for either party.  Instead, my role as a Mediator is to provide each party with the information necessary to allow each of them to make informed decisions regarding their marital issues.   So do I take sides?  Yes, in the sense that I am there to guide the dissolution process or custody/visitation problems in an effective, issue resolving, peaceful and effective matter.  I try to keep your case from blossoming into a full-fledged and prolonged legal battle that only ends up hurting you, your children, and other family members as well.   If  your matter becomes entangled and embroiled with bitterness and anger,  who is really winning?   Did you want to end up using all your assets to continue litigation?    I have been there representing clients in that position.   In one case, that cherished toaster became a "pawn" for battle.  That toaster ended up costing $15,000.00 in attorney fees. 

Some of my clients have spent thousands of dollars, yet they got no closer to their expectation than when they first started, or they faced a very costly trial.   People have a tendency not to consider the "full picture" when their emotions get the best of them.   Yet,  after the "hired guns" are out of the picture (the attorneys), they seem to be able to reach an agreement.

 

I will tell you, the parties and  their children very seldom "win"  in long, heavily litigated cases.  It is the attorneys, counselors, evaluators and the court.  Now the choice can be up to you!  Try Mediation!    

 

    

Common Questions About Mediation

JUST CLICK ON THE HEADING BELOW TO READ ABOUT THE SUBJECT MATTER

 

  1. What is mediation?
     

  2. How does mediation work?
     

  3. What does it mean that the mediation is confidential?
     

  4. What does it mean that the mediation is voluntary?
     

  5. What if I don't want to settle in mediation?
     

  6. What if the other party does not agree to mediate?
     

  7. What are the advantages of mediation?
     

  8. Should I bring an attorney to the mediation?
     

  9. Should I bring witnesses to support my case?
     

  10. Who are the mediators?
     

  11. What is  the difference between mediation and arbitration?

  12. What is the cost of your Mediation Service?

  13. Benefits of Divorce Mediation On You and Your Family

  14. What are the benefits of Divorce Mediation for my children?

 

CLICK  HERE TO READ PAGE TWO  RE:  THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION.

  1. What is divorce mediation?

    Mediation is a voluntary, and at times a  very confidential process where a neutral third-party (the mediator), helps parties in conflict to come together to talk and decide how to resolve their disputes regarding specific issues of family law.   The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for the parties.   This is why mediation works.  With the right information that the Mediator provides in a non-adversarial environment, the parties  reach an agreement they both mutually agree to.  With my many years of experience in Family Law, I have a good success rate to help empower the parties to reach an agreement that they both can live with.  Private mediation is NOT the same as Family Court Mediation through the court.  That mediator makes a recommendation to the court to make orders that you must abide by.  Mediation is NOT a counseling session.        

  2. How does divorce mediation work?

         At the mediation, I will l give both parties an opportunity to express their point of view in a non-adversarial and comfortable environment. In most cases, the parties and I will initially be in the same room.  Mediation may take several if  not many meetings, but I have a "package plan" that makes it many times less expensive than litigation.  At different times throughout the mediation process, I may meet with each party privately while the other party waits outside or during separate times if there is just too much emotion if the parties cannot meet together at first.  The private meetings allow the parties to share information with me and to come up with and test possible solutions and ideas with me,  before presenting them to the other party.    I do NOT take sides during this process.  Remember I'm here to help the both of you to reach an agreement without spending thousands on attorney fees.    

    As your mediator I will try to help the parties reach an agreement that is fair and acceptable to both parties. As your  mediator, I serve as a guide for the process, and provide the necessary information to allow each party to make informed decisions regarding the issues to be resolved.  The parties ultimately create their own agreement.
     

  3. What does it mean that the divorce mediation is confidential?

         It means that whatever you say in the mediation process for negotiation, is confidential.  This means whether it is when one of the parties is talking alone with me or when both parties are present,  it will not be repeated outside the mediation by the me.

    If the mediation is not successful and you go to court,  I can not be subpoenaed or required to testify in court, nor can any/all records or paperwork from my office be used in the court process.  However, the court can still have access of normal documents which are not confidential.  One example of this would be taxes.  In other words, when the parties agree to conduct and participate in mediation for the purpose of compromising, settling, or resolving a dispute, evidence of anything said or any admission made is not admissible as evidence and may not be compelled to be given.
     
  4. What does it mean that the divorce mediation is voluntary?

         It means that both parties must agree to mediate. If one party does not want to participate, then the mediation cannot occur.  It take two parties to conduct a mediation.  Either party may end the mediation at any time, for any reason.  But based on my experience, normally if both parties sign up for the program, it does work.

     
  5. What if I don't want to settle in divorce mediation?

         That is your choice, but I have found after the process begins, most people do want to work towards reaching an amicable and fair settlement.  Perhaps the first session doesn't result in what you were looking for, but by the time the process is half over, most parties are working in a positive  direction.  As your mediator, I will not tell you what to do or make a decision for you.  I remain impartial and focused on providing you appropriate information regarding your situation.   If you and the other party are unable to come up with an agreement in mediation, then you can take another approach.  Proceed to court!   But be ready to accept the judges orders that may not be to your liking at all.  Plus you will probably spend a lot of money to get to that point.  Once your matter gets into court,  you lose control over it.   Remember when a Judge issues an order,  it is an order, unless you appeal it.  Judges utilize the same process as a mediator based on what he or she has been presented in the file, arguments from the attorneys or parties, which means very little time is spent on details.    

     
  6. What if the other party does not agree to mediate?

         If you would like to mediate and the other party does not,  I can send a letter indicating your intentions and information about mediation that may encourage them to participate.  But again I can't take sides.  Mediation is a voluntary process, and no one will be required to mediate.   When you litigate and proceed to court,  in many ways it is a forced mediation ending with the court ordering what neither party wanted leaving both parties dissatisfied.   This only sets the stage to go back into court again and again.  This is very costly.   Remember, in mediation, you pay one attorney instead of two. 
     

  7. What are the advantages of divorce mediation?

         Private Mediation gives you and the other party the chance to resolve any disputes yourselves. I know I would rather decide my fate rather than having a Judge decide it for me. Most people are many times  more satisfied with resolutions that they developed themselves, than what the court imposed on them.  You can resolve your concerns in mediation in much less time, less stress and you are part of the resolution process.   Most mediations are a much shorter process than contested litigation that can take more than a year or even longer.  I have had those longer cases and I can assure you, the parties were not any happier litigating or very satisfied with the outcome.  At least in Mediation,  you make the choices.  You don't have a lingering black cloud over your head.  The parties can move forward in a positive direction with their lives. 
     

  8. Should I bring an attorney to the divorce mediation?

         If there are already attorneys involved, it serves no purpose to have your attorney argue before me instead of a judge.  Mediation is not the place.  In my years of practice, I have found maybe a third of the attorneys practicing are reasonable and work towards an out of court resolution.  The other two thirds,  litigate....litigate....litigate.    If you have an attorney already,  I require their statement indicating that they are allowing the mediation to take place.  If the other party has an attorney, then both attorneys need to provide "releases".    If the mediation does not work, then of course you can "substitute"  the attorney back into your case.  Usually only the disputing parties and the mediator are present at the mediation sessions to encourage conversation between the parties themselves and minimize the adversarial nature of the dispute. If an agreement is reached and placed in writing, both parties can take the agreement to another attorney for review before signing it.   But again if it is your agreement, there is normally no need to expend more money.   But be aware that some attorneys like litigation.   I have seen attorneys write $300 worth of letters about the parties sharing the copy fees for documents to share when the actual cost for copying the documents was less than $25.   When the parties who are in litigation have to go to  Family Court Services over custody and visitation issues, attorneys are not allowed.  One of the court's mediators told me if attorneys were able to be present at the court mediations, the parties would never reach any agreement.   This holds true to private mediation. 

     

  9. Should I bring witnesses to support my case?
    No. There are no witnesses or judges at a mediation session. Generally, only the disputing parties and the mediator are present.  The purpose of the mediation is not to determine who is right or wrong but to reach a workable agreement that both parties can live with.  Usually witnesses chose sides and distract the parties from resolving the issues.  The purpose is for the parties to talk with each other and to work out a mutually acceptable agreement to settle the dispute.  If another third party is needed, it would be a professional to determine the value of real or personal property or tax issues. 
     

  10. Who would be our divorce mediators?

         I have been a family law attorney for almost 19 years and have been involved in hundreds of cases that included contested  litigation in San Diego County.  I have a very good track record of having been able to settle even the most complex cases.   My many years of contested litigation and dispute resolution have given me the necessary skills and training to provide you with the knowledge to make informed decisions. 

  11.  What is the difference between divorce mediation and arbitration?
         Mediation is less formal while arbitration is very similar to court.  In arbitration, both sides argue their case instead of trying to work towards an agreement.    Arbitration is private and it can be binding or not.   It really doesn't save any money over having two attorneys fighting it out in court.

  12.  What is the Cost of Divorce Mediation Services?

The cost of Mediation varies just like a divorce.   But I offer a guide to fees so you can see what the costs may be.  The cost is based on whether or not the parties have children,  real and personal property, retirement plans, etc.    If you press  click here you will go the the next page where the Fees and Costs are listed.   CLICK HERE

 

 

13. The Benefits of Divorce Mediation On You and Your Family. The Alternative to this process is listed below.

Allows the parties to take charge of their lives and design a plan for their future that would be good for themselves and for their children  or face the alternative that the court will tell you both what you can and can not do. 

Facilitates, promotes and improves communication between the parties or facing spending your hard earn assets or income on attorney fees, court fees and never feeling satisfied.

Hard bargaining tactics are avoided!   The alternative is to hire an attorney to litigate all the issues and get depleted of your funds.   

Helps the parties to exchange views and information.   In the alternative, both attorneys exchange costly letters and the issues could take months to resolve.

Helps to reduce conflict and hostility between the parties.   The alternative litigation approach is to live in a state of conflict with the hostilities between the parties only getting worse.

Encourages co-operation and trust.  The alternative produces more discord and distrust.

Allows the parties the opportunity to express their feelings associated with ending the marriage in a safe environment.   The alternative usually builds more anger and possibly leads to domestic violence.

The parties are assisted in articulating their goals and interests rather than taking positions.  The  alternative is to hire attorney to speak for you and the judge to decide for you.

The parties have more control over the outcome.  With the court you have no control over the outcome.  Your attorney argues the case and the judge decides in a few short minutes.

Increases potential for solutions that may go beyond remedies which can be ordered by the court. The court only can make orders which they have legal right to do including taking away children and issuing support orders even if it causes bankruptcy and bad credit for both parties.

Settlements generally work much better because of the fact that the parties worked cooperatively to arrive at the agreement, rather than having it negotiated back and forth between their lawyers and if that doesn't work, proceed to a costly trial.  

Mediation empowers the parties to solve their own disputes and find a compromise that works for both of them.   Litigation takes away the power of both parties and places it in the hands of a judge, Family Court Services, instead of you!

A mutually acceptable solution lets both parties be winners and respect each other.   In the alternative, neither party feels they have won anything and end up owing a huge amount of attorney fees.

Now you decide what is better for you.  Mediation or contested court litigation?  

 

CLICK  HERE TO READ PAGE TWO  RE:  THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION.

 

14. What are the benefits for your children?
  • Focuses attention on the children and in doing what is best for the children both emotionally and as a parent.
  • Minimizes the harmful effects of divorce and separation on children.  Even if you no longer love your spouse, your children still need the love of two parents.
  • Agreements can take into account the personal needs of children in much more detail than other kinds of agreements. When the court gets involved, the court will have control over your children and they don't have the time to understand what affect their orders will have on them.
  • Mediation  provides a constructive way for the children to have a voice in the process without triangulating them between the parents or over empowering them in the decision making process.   Children are not directly involved in the mediation process but through both parents, their voice's are heard.
  • Children adjust better to their parent’s divorce than do children of parents who simply go through the litigation process; the children are happier, more secure, more reassured and less distressed, they are more likely to go to college and have the support of both parent.
  • Presents a cooperative model for addressing future changes in the lives of the children and not the hurt feelings and emotions of both parent.   Mediation involving the children  have a positive results where six months of litigation between the parents have a negative result.
  • Establishes a sound foundation for post-separation parenting arrangements is the first step in making the children feel secure again. 

 

GROUND RULES FOR MEDIATION

Not everyone who starts the Mediation process will welcome them. Hopefully in the first few hours of the mediation process they will be using them. 

  1. Bring an OPEN MIND to the negotiations. Be willing to explore options (think outside the court litigation box). Avoid taking inflexible positions or making nonnegotiable demands.
  2. Don’t dwell on the past – this limits your ability to move forward. Focus attention on what will help you in the future.
  3. Remember that the information provided by the mediator regarding relevant statutes, case law and possible litigated outcomes is only one piece of information for you to consider and should not dictate the resolution of issues in your case.  Mediation is working out an agreement you both can live with.
  4. Do not involve family and friends in your  disputes.  Look to the professional who is helping you in the Medication process for guidance. Negotiate only with the assistance of the mediator.
  5. Seek mutual benefit for the entire family and don't use the children to fight your war.
  6. Practice Tactful Honesty – a tactful approach is more likely to help get the other person’s cooperation than a tactless one.
  7. Understand the other person’s point of view. Mutual understanding is a prerequisite for optimizing results.  It also doesn't mean you like it or agree to it only you understand his or her point of view. Listen without dismissing, discounting or interpreting.
    • How does the other person view the issues?
    • How would she/he define the problem's that need to be resolved?
    • How would she/he describe my behavior ?
    • How has my behavior in the dispute affected her/him?
    • What are the most important issues to her/him?
  8. Attack the problems, not each other.
  9. Avoid the following inflammatory language which hardens the conflict, sabotages the collaborative process and are communication deal breakers:
    • Insulting, condescending or sarcastic comments
    • Negative labels for the other’s behavior
    • Impulsive Comments
    • Mind-reading
    • “Always and Never” statements
    • Threats of any kind
  10. Speak for yourself, not for your partner. Try not to describe each other’s feelings or motivations. Focus on your own.
  11. Listen first to understand and second to respond.
  12. Demonstrate RESPECT for the dignity of each other – even if you are angry or distrustful of him/her and believe that the entire problem is his/her fault.
  13. Apologize sincerely for anything you did or said to each other that you now regret.
  14. Honor all commitments, including agreements made for the temporary management of finances, custody, placement and support.
  15. Remain optimistic that with diligence and effort a mutually acceptable result is possible. Even the most difficult conflicts can be resolved when there is the intention to do so.

 MEDIATION DOES WORK!

Disclaimer - Be sure to read the disclaimer for this website. This website is for informational purposes only and only intended for California residence.  NO legal advice shall be construed by reading the information provided here or in the informational booklets/pamphlets. reading this or any informational e-booklet or this web sit does  NOT create any attorney/client relationship. After a retainer agreement has been signed by the perspective client and attorney, then representation commences.

DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOUR SITUATION GETS OUT OF HAND!

For further information and consultation CALL, e-mail or fax your request for an appointment TODAY!

Divorce Mediation Services & Divorce Service -  DAVID A. CASEY 

 CALL TODAY:     (619) 447-6780

San Diego County

Any legal content contained on this website is not intended to

 and does NOT constitute legal advice

 

CLICK  HERE TO READ PAGE TWO  RE:  THE BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION.

 
If you reside in El Cajon, San Diego, La Mesa, Lemon Grove, Rancho San Diego, Alpine, Santee, Lakeside, Ramona, El Cajon, Rancho San Diego, Spring Valley, El Cajon California, or the East San Diego County, my office is conveniently located in El Cajon California just minutes away with free parking!  There is no need to travel to down town San Diego.  

Now you can have Divorce Mediation in San Diego County by a highly experience family law attorney.  It's is a way to make the worst situation manageable and to get a settlement without spending all of your hard earned assets.  Call and ask to speak to attorney David A. Casey to set up a Mediation appointment.

              

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